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jess7979's Blog


heyia

hey everyone just thougt id post for the new year
nothin is really happin tbh xx
started back school did ok in my chrimbo exams :D got a laptop !
so oooooooooooooooooo happy !
anyway whats up with ye??? anything interesting?

Getting better

I know things are getting better
There not there yet
But getting there

When I wrote last week about my two best friends being kissed for the first time , I was in a dark place
I felt like the only one who didn't have a boyfriend
I know what you are thinking " stupied little kid she too young anyway and she's only doing it to fit in " that's actully not true

I'm doing it because I really want to be loved
And needed
And wanted

All of you have probably felt it
Well I havnt

But then I realised something
How can I exPect people to like me
Need me
Want me
If I don't even like myself
Need myself
Want myself

Today I can honestly stand and look you in the eye and say
I see a future
Finally
I see hope
Light at the end of the tunnel

Now next week I could be back to Omg my life is terrible I hate the way I look I'm so fat

But right now
This moment in time
I feel better
Happier
FINALLY

Getting better

I know things are getting better
There not there yet
But getting there

When I wrote last week about my two best friends being kissed for the first time , I was in a dark place
I felt like the only one who didn't have a boyfriend
I know what you are thinking " stupied little kid she too young anyway and she's only doing it to fit in " that's actully not true

I'm doing it because I really want to be loved
And needed
And wanted

All of you have probably felt it
Well I havnt

But then I realised something
How can I exPect people to like me
Need me
Want me
If I don't even like myself
Need myself
Want myself

Today I can honestly stand and look you in the eye and say
I see a future
Finally
I see hope
Light at the end of the tunnel

Now next week I could be back to Omg my life is terrible I hate the way I look I'm so fat

But right now
This moment in time
I feel better
Happier
FINALLY

Why do I care??

Iv gotten over it
Me and him will never be together
I except that
He's a A and I'm a Z
We just dnt match
Iv convinced myself that I dnt like him
Dont care what he dose
Who he talks to
Or when he looks at me
But when she hugged him
Right there it really hurt
Like real hurt
My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to get sick with sadness
I can see the way she looks at him
same back to her
There so perfect 4 each other
Everyone can see it
.......
I don't know why I care

Granny :(

Just because I was 2 when she died dosnt mean I don't miss her to Bights
Her and grandad were the only things holding the family together
My mam , uncle John and uncle eamon broke away when grandad died
The rest stayed for granny
My mam did everything though
She sorted the funeral
She cooked for everyone
It wasn't a good time
My mam did what had to be done
But when granny got cancer ... She couldn't hang on
It was all too much
Losing grandad then getting caner in the space of a year .
My mam again did everything
While fights went on in the house
All grannies personal things thrown in a shed at the back of the house
Nothing even thought about unless it was money
Everyone stopped talking then
I have never spoken to my anuty and uncle Liz and eamon
They have partners and kids but I never see them
David is a stuck up prick
Linda dosnt care
And ciara acts like a spoiled child
I havnt seen John in 4 years
Carrol lives in spain
And all is left is my mam
It wouldnt be like this ..
If only she had of gone to the fucking doctors instead of covering it up with a Plaster

What is love ?

What is love?
4 letters
LOVE
when you think about it....... It means nothing.
But I highly dought it is the 4 letters that make people squeak .
That make the hairs on the back if there neck stand up .
I imagine it would be the feeling .
But that feeling ..... Is it real ?
Is there any real love ?
I mean we all love a family member , or a pet or a best friend .
But the love of a couple ....... I mean is it a real thing?
Because I'm looking for it.
Searching for any evidence . And I cant find it .
We all see it in the movies . A pasinote couple . Married , the family .... All Of it .
But in real life ... I mean is it really " love " unless you both look eachother in the eyes and say " I love you!"
In today's world the 2 people are only looking for a number of things
1. Sex
2. money
3. Looks
And love is very rare
So as a confused person , I ask you what is love?

A new me . Nice to meet you !

I am a new person
I am changing me
I don't like me
So I'm changing it
Im on a diet
I cut my hair
I'm getting braces in the next 6 months
And I'm saving up for laser eye surgery
I'm also looking for someone to give me some fashion advice !
I hierd someone over the Internet last week!
Don't judge me ! And please don't say oh u don't need to change. No i don't need to but I want to .
And I'm better starting now
Young
So that I'm not in my 30 s wishing I had of sone it earlier
Wish me luck
Xx

My cat :(

My cat neo had a cut on his ear
It got really bad and we decided to bring him to the vet.
He gave neo an anistetic and now he's stonned !
He's walkin around like a drunk old man .
It's so funny !

20th blog!!!!

Hi everyone!
First off thank you for reading all my blogs !
I hope you gave enjoyed them !
Well because I'm moving into a new school building my teachers have to get to know the school so i have today and tommorrow off!
Im really bored though
All my friends Live miles away in nurney
Ugh
I'm

I'm sooo bored

Jess

I can't believe it's been 4 hours already !

Well in my school I wear a uniform
And some days were aloud wear our own cloths if we bring in money for a charity
And well it's my first own cloths day in a mixed school
And I wanna make a good impression on my mates and some other people too .
Im taking a break from picking my cloths for tomorrow.
ha ha 4 hours go bye so fast in girl world
I have to pick
Top
Jeans/ skirt/ dress
Shoes
Make up
Hair style
Alot! And I'm tired (yawn)
This better pay off!!
If a lad don't comment I swear I will jump on one of dem until they say something nice!
Poor lads in my school!
I'll report back tommorow
Xx
Bye




Jess
My mood: a bit anxious

Annoying family

If it's not my mother it my father
If its not Laura ( older sister ) it's Sophia (younger sister)
If it's not the posh side of the family who think if you don't have a degree in some fancy subject your useless,
Then it's the common side of the family, the people who only care about themselves and get drunk too much and only take take take then give

Ughhhhh
I wish we could just all stop!
There driving me up the wall with there demands and there bitching and there childish behaviour

My uncle ( from my mams side, one of the commen the youngest)
was the coolest thing
going. My idol! My hero !
Someone who I looked up to .
But about a year ago he started acting weird around me. He knew I really wanted to see him.
But he just sat there and sulked. I just thought he was in a bad mood. But no. It's gone on.
And on my confirmation he was said to my anuty ciara ( I'll get to her later ) " oh yeah that stupied thing , I might not go"
Then I sent him a text as a joke saying "hi david who would you like this to be?"
And he said my parents
Because they died
He thinks he's the only one who cares about them .
I mean me and my grandad
We were 2 peas in a pot
But no David thinks cos he's the youngest he cares more .

Ciara my anuty ( also on my mams sister, the person who gets drunk the most)
All she dose is take from my mam
Shes a lazy bitch who can never keep a personal secret if it killed her.
She tells my mam everything I tell her.
And she hose oh no no I won't tell her
She gets drunk and then she tells her everything and she thinks it's ok cos I'm only 13.

Rob ( uncle dads brother , posh doctor)
Omg he's a dick. My sister Laura is only my half sister from my mam diff dads. Well my dad adopted her so now she's my full sister but Rob still won't talk to her cos she's not dads. She is insanely smart . She got all As in her junior cert and she had tonsillitis!!!! She is wayyyyyyy smarter then rob ! He's a posh dickhead who I hate

and that's only the start there's 8 kids on my mams side
And 6 on my dads and I can only think of 3 who+ wife's and hubbies arnt
wierdos !

I hate this family!!! I'm not being fussy I'm being honest ! I hate it ! I wanna get out!

Just a bad day

Hi everyone
How are you? How was your day?
I just said that because I hate selfish people and iv just realised most of my blogs are very selfish.

Anyway I'm really having a bad day . Just teen stuff that is really getting me upset. Well Brian ( a lad in my class) wrote all over a desk
I  james by jessica
( my friend james from previous blogs)

At first he was just laughing at it. But know he's very weird.
He doesn't really talk to me. And when he dose it's awkward.

I just think so many people are saying it to him he's actually stopping and thinking.
I mean I do laugh at him a lot but that's only because he's funny.
And I do find my self looking at him a lot but thats only because he's trying a new hairstyle that doesn't suit him.

I know this will happen to me over and over again.
But I don't care. As long as me and adam go back to normal .
Please give me some advise .
Thank you very much
Xxx
Jess

I have 0 confidence

I feel so ugly
I feel so fat
Or the dreaded word "BIG"

As a teen I think it's my job to be insecure
Hate my appearance

All I want is someone to say "oh I like your hair"
Even as friends
It would just boost me so much

I'm upsest with getting a boyfriend or getting my first kiss
And I'm putting my hands up and admitting that
But I'm sure 99•99% of teens suffer from this

It's horrible to be the only one without a boyfriend or havnt had there first kiss yet

It makes me feel ... Different
All the adults out there or older teens .... Have you ever felt like this ?
Could you give me advise?
How was your first kiss?
Thx xoxo

On another note my anuty got diagnosed with MS yesterday
She's the third person in my family to be diagnosed ( not blood related to eachother)
I have a fear that I may have it
I have double the chance and I am showing signs of it
My "friend" isn't even concerned
All she cares about is her boyfriend

I mean she could be a little bight more helpful if I have to go get All these tests done to see if I have MS which could affect my whole life
But no no no no
Her boyfriend has a sOre finger so that's wayyyyyyyyyyyyy more important

If there's anyone out there with MS I'd love to talk
Thank you very much do leave comments
Xxxx
Jess

Lads I reconmend you read this ( if u ever want a gf)

Hi everyone
Ok well I was looking at these websites to check if someone likes me
You know them ones 5 clues a guy likes you and all that stuff
Well anyway I stumbled across 1 that was for teen lads
Omg it couldn't have been more wrong

Do not listen to these things
Im convinced it's a lad trying to convince himself hes cool
Ok I'll give you a proper tip
1. Don't tease girls (we don't like that!) complement her
2. Have a sence on humor (IT'S A MUST)
3. Have personal hygiene- you don't have to be the most gourguse guy in the world but be clean VERY CLEAN
4. Never Ever Act like your not interested - we will move on very very very fast !! It's happened to me and iv realised they actually liked me but I had to move on ! Make yourself clear on what you want !

Thats all I can really give you but seriously don't listen to these messed up ppl talking nonsense !
Xxxx see ya xxxx

Response

Sorry I didn't reply sooner

I got a C in my geography
THANK GOD!!!!!
and james has a girlfriend so I'm saved !!!
Xxxxxxx

Ugghhhhhhh

Worst day ever!!!!!
Ok I'll just start from the start cos it's all pretty bad.

Ok I wake up at 7.00
Everything's going great until I get this rock hard feeling in my stomach.
It's horrible but I go into school anyway.
I have English Irish maths before lunch and when I sat down at my desk I knew that It wasn't good.
I told Adam (the guy I sit beside) that I felt sick and I was going to get sick in his face
He laughed but a few miniutes later ... Lets just say he wasn't laughing anymore.
After that I felt better but I came into a class room with everyone looking at me weirdly. I knew it wasn't about me getting sick but something else ...
I investigated and realised someone set up a rumor that I liked Adam and I was going to "meet" ( French kiss) him after lunch .

Do for the whole day it was all like " OMG Jessica likes Adam "
It was so imbarrising because he's my good friend and I don't like him

Then I go in for a geography test and I have a blank complete black
I can't remember anything !
Its horrible because the lowest iv ever gotten Is a C

I just know I'll get a D or E :(

So talk about the worst day ever !
And know I have to somehow convince my lab partner aka d lad I like that I don't like Adam which will be hard considering he was the one who started telling everyone
Anyone better be off
I'll blog again tomorrow and tell you how it went
Xxxx Jess xxxxxX

Stupid ppl about 9/11 and everbodys fine

Hi everyone !!
Just thought I'd give you an update on me!

Well it's the 10 th anniversary of 9/11
Very sad.
But I hate the people on this who are like "it was terrible , I felt like killing myself for them poor people, that's why I'm avoiding the tv today"
Like get a life !!!

Don't get me wrong it was terrible what happened and got love them people but come on!
Like seriously this Person doesn't even know anybody in it!
I mean cop on!
It's bad to the families!
Grow up and stop trying to get attention !

On another note - I saw everybody's fine yesterday
Best film ever but so
Sad !
I advise you to watch it but be prepared
Xx ttul xx

Boys = side orders

My life is like a steak.
Lovely rich and sometimes exotic.
But when is comes to boys there like side orders
The meal great without it but some chips or salad would be nice
Sometimes people order a side order but eat 3 chips. Then through the rest away .

Sometimes are steaks get a bight dry.
And we need a side order in our lives.
Some people only need one side order but some people need more then 1 bowl of chips.
Personally I'd like some garlic bread but it's up to my waiter :)

Pleasure of an A+

Ah theres nothing as sweat as coming back down from the top of the class with a test that has
100% or A+ written all over it.
Although my lab partner got a C and really wasn't happy with both him getting a C and me getting an A

But he was the second highest in the class so I don't see why he's so upset.
Nother the less I felt very bad when I left the class.
Watching him ripping the test into his face and throw it in the bin.

But when I got home I soon forgot about that as I was rewarded with a take away and a manicure.
Even though I have a feeling my lab partner won't talk to me tomorrow and I will probably be known as the class neird, it's worth it !

A sudden realisation

Ok I just realised something .
No matter how many times I put in lipstick.
No matter home many tubes of hairspray I go through .
No matter how many times I change my hair.
I will never be cool.

I have friends! Great friends and I don't know why I want more bad ones.

Going to a new school has thought me many different things
1. Being urself isn't always a bad thing
2. All boys arnt actully just there so they can look cool and kiss a few girls here and there
3. The boys who are like that look like total losers
4. Same with the girls except sluts.

So it's all good for a person like me.
Except when a guy drops a book on my head when I'm at my locker. :(

But other that that I <3 secondary !
And I can't wait for the next 5 years.

1-20 of 28 Blogs   

Previous Posts
heyia, posted January 8th, 2013
Getting better, posted March 11th, 2012
Getting better, posted March 11th, 2012
Why do I care??, posted January 19th, 2012
Granny :(, posted December 10th, 2011
What is love ?, posted November 13th, 2011
A new me . Nice to meet you !, posted November 3rd, 2011
My cat :(, posted October 25th, 2011
20th blog!!!!, posted October 24th, 2011
I can't believe it's been 4 hours already !, posted October 20th, 2011
Annoying family, posted October 18th, 2011
Just a bad day, posted October 15th, 2011
I have 0 confidence, posted October 12th, 2011, 1 comment
Lads I reconmend you read this ( if u ever want a gf), posted October 6th, 2011
Response, posted October 1st, 2011
Ugghhhhhhh, posted September 19th, 2011
Stupid ppl about 9/11 and everbodys fine, posted September 11th, 2011
Boys = side orders, posted September 9th, 2011
Pleasure of an A+, posted September 7th, 2011
A sudden realisation, posted September 6th, 2011
A sudden realisation, posted September 6th, 2011
I know it's not fair ..... But I'm ........, posted September 4th, 2011
Secondary , periods and boys ! Lol, posted September 2nd, 2011
Secondary , periods and boys ! Lol, posted September 2nd, 2011
25-8-11, posted August 25th, 2011
22-8-11, posted August 22nd, 2011
Today, posted August 20th, 2011
This is just me, posted August 19th, 2011

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